Running With Sticks

“Don’t run with the sticks in your hand!” I yell at my daughters. We had gone on a hike in the park, and they had found nice walking sticks. Now we were finished with our hike and walking through the parking lot back to our truck. Having the freedom of the open space my girls immediately started running. Instinctively, I gave my impassioned caution. Knowing it was a dangerous thing to do - running with sticks.

As parents, we spend our time making sure our young children do not hurt themselves. Childproofing the house, blowing the hot soup, and the list goes on. We want to keep them safe. My question is: When and how are we supposed to stop?

I understand teenagers need to discover some on life on their own. Explore. Learn. But no one can be prepared for the scariness of watching your teenager doing something you know will cause them pain and not yell out, “Don’t! You’ll get hurt!”. We want to protect them from all the hurt and confusion we experienced. All the things that taught us our boundaries…

Our limits.

Our capacity.

Our potential.

Ourselves.

Oh.

They need to make mistakes. It's good for them to make some of their own choices and face the consequences, good or bad. Often, teenagers will not give us much choice. It seems like they push us away. Not wanting our advice or thinking we’re lame. They get this attitude of “I can do it on my own”. Familiar, right? Terrible Twos, "Threenagers", anyone?

We think to ourselves and say to our friends:

“What am I doing wrong?”

“What happened to the sweet little child?”

Nothing. You are doing nothing wrong, and your sweet child is still there. They are going to run with sticks and hurt themselves. What they still need is for you to kiss their boo-boos. Be there when the pain is too great, and they need help carrying it. Give them a tissue and grab your own! Cry with them, strategize with them, guide them. In the end, the decision is theirs and your job is to cheer for them. They need you now more than ever. Don’t stop.